Anxiety and worries

• A reflection on anxiety and worries, which make us anticipate misfortunes that most of the time never happen.

“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.”

Montaigne, French philosopher.

We live in a hectic world. We often anticipate negative situations that fill us with distress. The first time I read the quote that opens this reflection, it made a great impression on me.

Since then, whenever I am worried about a problem, I make a point of looking back, and I realise that many of the negative expectations I had in difficult circumstances never came true. How much wisdom there is in Seneca’s words: “He who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary.”

Anxiety is an emotional state characterised by constant fear generated by a threatening situation. It is a complex phenomenon that can cause us great physical and emotional harm.

It is true that in this life we will always have reasons for worry and fear, but the attitude with which we face the challenges before us will make the difference between a fuller, more productive life and a more unhappy one, to the point of making us ill.

Much has been written about anxiety and worries, and we can find many tools for managing them properly. One simple, effective technique is Diaphragmatic Breathing. I invite you to practise it right now: breathe like a newborn baby.

• Breathe in slowly through your nose, filling your lungs with air from the abdomen for 3 seconds.
• Hold the air in for another 3.
• Breathe out through your mouth, counting to 3.
• Repeat 5-10 times and you will feel the relaxing effects.

Make it part of your daily routine and you will have an excellent tool for managing anxiety.

We constantly poison our minds with our imagination, filling ourselves with harmful thoughts. Saint Teresa of Ávila spoke of controlling “the madwoman of the house”, the overexcited imagination that leads us to think or expect the worst. If you don’t master it, you will never enjoy serenity.

If we have thoughts of peace, we will live more calmly. If we harbour feelings of fear, we will live in distress. We attract what we think. That is why another exercise that goes with our relaxation process is making sure our inner dialogue is positive.

We urge you to practise thoughts such as: I am a confident, brave person, capable of achieving my goals; I am in control of the situations I face; I feel happy and at peace. Let us avoid phrases containing negative messages, such as I will never let others crush me. Never and crush are negative words that our subconscious can absorb.

Write your own phrases and put them where you can read them often until they become an integral part of a new inner dialogue.

One of my favourite quotations, which has great power, is a real promise for those who believe in Him and follow His commands: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me (Phil. 4:13). Trust, and be certain that all things work together for good to them that love God.