Communication

• A reflection on communication: although technology keeps us more connected than ever, relating well to others still means looking each other in the eye.

“To make yourself understood, the first thing to do with people is to speak to their eyes.”

Napoleon

I’d like to share a reflection on a topic of great importance for better relationships: communication. Since the revolution brought about by the internet and other digital technologies, people have never been “better connected”, though not necessarily better communicated or more integrated in their personal relationships.

I see with some concern a kind of “Virtual Addiction” leading us to obsessive-compulsive behaviour in the excessive use of these technologies, as psychologist David Greenfield describes in his book “Virtual Addiction”. These technologies are neither good nor bad; it depends on how and in what context we use them.

Picture this scene: four people are sitting at a restaurant table in lively conversation when one of them decides to answer their phone. A few seconds later, another decides to take advantage of the “break” to make a “quick call” and, wasting no time, the third starts “chatting”. The fourth is you, not knowing where to look or what to do, because you have committed the unforgivable sin of leaving your phone at home. What happened to the lively conversation?

Another strange real-life scenario is a recently divorced couple who communicate by chat so they don’t have to see or hear each other in person, even when they are in the same place. What a lesson for our teenage children on how to solve problems virtually without facing them. Not to mention how lonely we can be in company when we spend hours communicating virtually with the whole world.

I wonder what the impact of these behaviours will be on future generations: young people who, at the same table, prefer to chat with their fellow diners rather than talk face to face.

With the abuse or overuse of these forms of communication, we could be in danger of becoming unable to maintain good interpersonal relationships.

I only have to “disconnect” when I don’t want to talk to someone, building high walls that prevent me from communicating and interacting in the natural way God intended when He gave this ability to Homo sapiens.

Technologies are affecting the way we live, interact and love. Let us seek a balance and ask whether they serve us or we serve them. Let us find equilibrium: they are good if they improve our quality of life; if they harm our ability to communicate, we must be alert and make a change.

Long live the Age of Digital Communication! But let us not become its slaves. Let us not lose the pleasure of a warm look, the pleasant shiver that runs through our body at the accidental touch of a loved one, the irrepressible eloquence of the gestures of the person we are talking to. Remember that some things are better said in person.

May there be more and better communication between families and friends, so that together we can build a better country.